accomplished twins. life is a go
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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