that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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