I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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