But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I met the friendliest cop last night
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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