she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
