it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Randomize
