a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I AM VODKA MAN
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Randomize
