is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
