I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
