a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
