We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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