Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
