Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
