okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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