i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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