And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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