I need to stop coming to work sober
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
