i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
