Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize