hotel room ftw
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
