I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
