I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
