1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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