The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
