Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize