I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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