Christians are straight up FREAKS
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
