i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize