There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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