Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
