Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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