nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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