now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
