Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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