Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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