I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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