your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize