Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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