47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
