I'm drive I can fine osifer
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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