We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
