at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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