somebody snuck up and got me drunk
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
