i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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