One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
