So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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