guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
