Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
