i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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