we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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