if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
