I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
