I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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