in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
