I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
