did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
